F&*^ You Too Nasty Newsreader.

Why do I do it?

Really, the $30 per column is not making that huge a financial difference to our lives. It's not worth the yelling at my children every Sunday afternoon as I try to finish up the column and they interrupt every five minutes. It's not worth the stress when the emailed column bounces back or, like this week, the saved column dissapears somewhere in my harddrive and I have to rewrite from a rough, first draft.

So why do I put myself out there and open myself up to comments from the judgmental, nasty masses?

A blog is one thing. I have control over the comments. If something is offensive, I can delete it.

But having my columns published in the paper and printed on their online site means I no longer have any control.

Oh yes, I've received lovely feedback. Feedback from people who really feel supported by my columns, who are thankful for my sharing, who hear what they need exactly when they need it. Even feedback from people who disagree with me but at least put thought into it.

And then I receive comments like this one
me2u from nl writes: OMG, an article about diapers and potting training?
Is this how far we have come in 40 years of consicousness raising and women's struggle for rights.
Dara, to clear up confusion, why are you wasting your time and newspaper space?
In response to columns like this one.

I'm trying to be professional and not respond to these comments on the paper's website. I refuse to enter the fray and I know how petty people can be in online forums. But I've got to get this out of my system.

Well Ms. Nasty Me2u,
 I see you have nothing better to do with your day then waste your time insulting others. I guess your children never wore diapers? Perfect from birth I imagine, just like you. I'm not exactly certain what women's struggle for rights has to do with dirty diapers. I mean, regardless of how much of a feminazi I could be, there would still be shit to deal with, wouldn't there?
So I really appreciate your giving me more shit to deal with. Go f*&^ yourself - you don't need a man for that; should make you happy.
People like you make feminists look like idiots. So thanks for insulting me, my writing and my gender. Now why don't you go find yourself a child you can steal candy from to make your day complete.
Can we say jealous? Oh and just to let you know, my 130 odd fans on Facebook actually asked for potty training to be covered as a topic. So again I say, Go F&*% yourself.

Not what I mean to post today. But there you go.

In the meanwhile, it's the comments like this one:
Melanie Callahan from Corner Brook, NL writes: Love your column Dara! As a parent of young children, I find the the topics of your column to be very relevant.
In reponse to columns like this one. That make it worthwhile.

I guess .  .  .


  1. some people are such bum holes, aren't they? ((hugs))

    Surely if it's not something you are personally interested in then you would just, err, I dunno, like, err, not read it?

    *lots of swear words*

  2. Thanks Heather. I should be use to it by now. This is not the first nasty comment I've received. But this week I specifically said - I'm not going to write about anything controversial, just a lighthearted approach to a subject my readers have been asking for.
    And there we are. Another nasty comment. And of course as they don't use their real names I do wonder . . . is this someone I know?

  3. I love the idea that feminism somehow makes toilet training an unimportant subject. I wish I'd known I could show my card-carrying feminist card to get a free pass from dealing with diapers and potties, which I hated every minute, btw, but still had to do because, you know, I had children.

    Illegitimi non carborundum. Your column is great.

  4. Thanks Trudy! I shouldn't let the illegitimi get to me (he he, a rhyme!) but it was so unexpected. Ah well. I think I'm bitter about the amount of work I put in and the pay I receive too, that doesn't help! But I'm sure you know all about that.

  5. Thanks Jamie. I know you're one of those dads that has changed a dirty diaper or two yourself. I'm sure everytime you didn't your wife told you you were inserting your male imperialist notions of gender division into the household division of labour, right? :-)
    And for the record. My husband changes diapers too. Not if he can possibly avoid it, but he does!

  6. Don't let them get to you.

    I was not as ladylike and this is what I answered on the column site:

    me2u: This is a column about parenting. With parenting comes potty training and believe it or not there are people who feel this column was helpful.

    As far as you: It is said that you feel the need to judge others and their lives and beliefs. We are all different and diverse. What is good for one is not good for another. You can still be a proud feminist and still change diapers.

    As a matter of fact if women had no interest in raising children there would be no human race and whatever kids were born would be sadly lacking in their people skills without loving parents who cares about them and was in tune to their needs and yes their potty training.

    I am sad for you that you are hateful and spiteful and feel a need to criticize and belittle someone just because you don't see eye to eye with them.

    Maybe you need to take some time and look in a mirror and see what part of you and your personality is really the problem and that you don't like. You obviously have some dislike for yourself and sadly for women.

  7. Well said, Susie.
    I imagine me2u also visited a dozen other sites the same day to give others a piece of her nasty, spiteful mind. That's what these people do. Sad, really.
    Anyhow, that woman needs to get back to Spelling School - potting training? Consicousness? Spelling matters, even if you're writing a poison pen letter!

  8. I can completely relate to this on a much smaller scale. I found, via a pingback, a blog post written about a blog post of mine. My post had been written about those 'things that make you know you're a mom' when my daughter was 1 month old. Not a GREAT post by any stretch of the immagination, but you know, a gaga mama sharing her happy feelings. The post about it had words such as 'made me want to gag', and accused me of 'perpetuating the fairy tale' and so on. It really stung, but I decided to ignore it. Sadly I had a TON of traffic from that blog as people came to look at that post, which I felt a bit frustrated by. I'm hoping they stopped to look around the rest a bit too!

    I guess that's the downside of putting yourself out there. You're exposed. But that said, if someone doesn't like it, how hard is it to click the little x in the corner and go on with your life?

    It is, as you say, harder with print media or other sites. I guess the trick is to just let it roll off your back.


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