1.4.10

Heaven is Boring - Writing Workshop

"Mommy," my son begins seriously, "I don't want to die. Heaven is boring."

"What do you mean?" I ask

"I don't want to fly around with wings and talk to God all the time. I want to play with my friends and watch movies and chew bubble gum." (watching movies and chewing bubble gum being two things Mommy doesn't let him do as often as he'd like)

"Well, honey, by the time you do die you may feel differently about that."

"When will I die, Mommy?"

"Not for a long, long, long time" I answer - "I hope," I add under my breath.

"But sometimes children die. Right Mommy? You told me."

"Yes honey, sometimes children do die."

"Where do they go?"

How to explain?

What I'd like to tell my son:
I'm not really sure where we go when we die, my sweet boy. According to our religion we believe "in the resurrection of the body and the life everlasting." Does that mean we'll arise whole from our graves, as Jesus did from his tomb?

I don't think so. What I think happens is that our body becomes one with the Earth again. From ashes to ashes. And that essence that created us, the energy that resides in every cell of our body is set free from the earth.

If we are ready to journey on then we may find our unconscious selves joining in with a collective unconscience, in which we are unbound from the pettiness of our human earthly lives and find ourselves in an arena of spiritual exemplitude.

We will become part of the universe and the power that drives it. We will become angels in the truest sense.

If we're a person who has embraced evil in our lives than we won't journey to that plane. Instead we will find ourselves in a cacophany of tormented energy. We will become one with evil and work our power upon the earth in horrible ways.

Amd if we are unable to embrace our journey, we will stay here, the energy that surrounded our death creating a vortex that holds us and haunts as us much as we haunt this plane.

This is what I feel is true. Our body is nothing and we are everything. The choices we make in this life, the power that we allow to rest insde us, the connections we create and nurture are all part of our journey. No one thing will define our future, but the lives we embrace will guide us.

I don't know if this is truly a Christian way of thinking, my dear boy, but this is what I feel when I let my mind go and don't think too hard. This is where my heart leads me.

But he is five years old and all he needs is for Mommy to hold him and reassure him. He needs an answer but is it right for me to give him mine? Shouldn't he find his answer the way I found mine.

So instead I tell him:
"They go where God loves them and makes sure they're happy."

"But Mommy," he whines "I don't WANT wings and to sing all day."

"Then you won't, honey. God won't make you do what you don't want in heaven."

"Will I go to hell?"

"No, sweetie. Hell isn't real. It's like a story." (Curse that Catholic School!)

"Then where will I go?"

"You'll go where God needs you to be and where you want to be."

"Maybe I'll be a guardian angel, mommy. They don't fly around singing, do they?"

"You'd make a great guardian angel, I think."

"I'll have to tell God that's what I want."

"Okay, my love," I say hugging him as tight as his little body allows, "but not anytime soon, okay?"

"It's okay Mommy, I won't be dead for years and years. You'll be very sad when I die, won't you?"

And that's the topic for another discussion: is it horrid to hope you die before your children so that you won't feel that wretched grief and yet by hoping such doom them to grieving you?



This post was written in response to the writing prompts posted by Josie as part of her Writing Workshop at Sleep is For the Weak. This week I chose prompt #3 - Write a story or poem or something descriptive to try and share your view of what happens when we die.

Head on over and check out the responses to this prompt and the others.

But before you go: where will you go when you die?