A Little Background:
The one thing that unites us all is that we have an unequalled influence on the next generation of adults and how they turn out. Our kids are that next generation of adults. They will study us and learn from us, both from things we say and don't say. They will learn from our presence or lack of presence in their lives. They will learn by our example. Now that is a heck of a lot of pressure!
I gave birth to my first child at age 20. I gave birth to my 5th at age 36. I was a very different type of mother at age 20 or even 30 than I am now. Am I better or worse? In some aspects I am better and in some I am worse.
But is it really fair to say better or worse? A more fair term to use would just be different. At age 20 I only had 1 child. At age 36 I had 5 children, 2 of whom were teenagers.
At age of 20 I thought I knew everything. At 36 I knew that I knew nothing. Sure I was more confident in the day to day aspects of motherhood because I had done it before, but as far as the big picture I knew how much there still was to learn.
At 36 I remembered to take joy in each moment. At age 20, I was busy getting things done. The more the better.
There are mothers who ask for advice. There are mothers who can't stand being given advice. There are mothers who use the advice they are given, there are others who ignore the advice they are given. Some mothers want to follow other mothers' paths and learn from them, while other mothers want to forge their way by themselves.
So what is really important for us mothers to remember? We need to remember that nothing and no one is perfect. Perfect is a myth. Supermom is a myth. We all have our struggles, our bad days and the words we wish never crossed our lips. Anyone who tells you otherwise is just lying.
We will have the days when we are so physically tired that we can't drag ourselves out of bed. We will have the days when we feel unqualified and feel like failures. We will have days when we feel we lost ourselves to motherhood and are missing our identity.
But then we will have the days of pure uninhibited love and joy and happiness. Days where we are proud of what we have achieved and of how our kids are turning out. We see their sensitive and loving sides and that makes up for all the misbehaving.
For me motherhood is being able to go from despair to elation in seconds all as a result of a little smile, hug, kiss or word from one of my kids. Those are the moments and the feelings to hold onto.
Not everyone feels the same way about motherhood. Every person's experience is totally unique.There are even those who walk away from the gift called motherhood.
What is true is that there is no arguing that fact that a mother is one of the biggest influences in a child's life, even an adult child's life. We all need to remember that fact when we find ourselves having meltdowns about unimportant little events.
Just take a breath, remember this moment we are in will pass. The good moments and the bad moments will pass. The time will go by quicker than you can ever have imagined. But the beautiful moments you have shared with your child will stay in your heart forever.
If you thought that was brilliant, head on over to her blog and read about some more of life's lessons. Always thought provoking. What did you think of today's post?