I'm a Drop Out

I'm going to let you in on a secret.

For it's not good to keep secrets, is it?

Okay. Here goes. Are you sitting down?

Take a deep breath.

No, not you, me!

I hate shopping.
What, you didn't hear? You're going to make me repeat it? Oh. Okay.

Be Brave.

No, not you! Me!

There. Now you know.

I am a woman that hates shopping. There is no bargain glory for me. There is no retail therapy or girl's day at the mall. Yes, if I love you I'll begrudgingly drag my feet behind you offering helpful advice as you engage in the world's most boring activity. If I really love you I'll let you help me shop, trying on badly made third world clothing I hate and can't afford anyway. I'll even pretend to enjoy myself. But mostly the smile on my face will be at the thought of visiting the food court or the book store.

Though truthfully I don't even enjoy shopping for books anymore.

Shopping is boring. Shopping is sad. Malls are hot and dusty and make me sneeze. The crowds are annoying. The lines at the check outs are long and tiresome.

No wonder the kids have a tantrum shopping. I completely understand. I'd like to lay down on the floor and scream too.

I'm sure some of my disenchantment comes from the lack of money to actually buy the things I want. There are very, very few things I really want. But the reason I want them and don't have them is because they're so expensive. A nice couch for the livingroom would be lovely. A good pair of fashionable shoes would be nice. A home gym would be fab! New beds for the kids . . . you get my drift.

A lot of my ambivalence - okay let's call it hatred - towards shopping comes from the sameness of it all. Haven't you noticed that all the stores are selling the same thing? And they're all badly made, probably by children in Malyasia? The ongoing consumer battle for the latest innovation in the exact same product drives me nuts. I can't keep up. I don't feel compelled to keep up. I'm a make-do or do without kind of person.

I'm a consumer drop out.

Before I became this radical retail-hating xenophile I did enjoy shopping for kitchen appliances. But I've since learned that the majority of them are crap and don't actually do anything new.

I have a waffle-maker. It also serves as a grilled cheese sandwich maker and a panini press - yes your panini has little square marks in it, but that just adds to the charm. It's good at quickly defrosting things too.

I have a food processor. It's also my juicer. Seriously, I'm going to spend another $100 to buy a juicer that removes the fibre (yes, yes I know I can use it in baking) when instead I can puree whole fruit, add yogurt and give the kids a real treat - a smoothie? It serves as my grain grinder too, and does a decent job though I'm sure a grain mill would do better.

I don't have sil-pat - I use wax paper or parchment paper. I don't have a garlic press - I use the side of the knife. I don't have rice steamer - I just use a pot. I don't have a double boiler -I use the microwave to melt/heat. I don't have a stand mixer - I prefer trying to estimate where the drops of whip cream will land. In fact sometimes I use a whisk instead of my handmixer. I don't have a pizza stone or a deep fryer or jello molds. I once had a capucinno machine but it broke. So now I brew extra strong coffee, heat my milk in the microwave and "foam" it by whisking really quickly.

Yes. I admit. I occasionally browse amazon and see things I think I need for my kitchen. But really. I'd have to buy a new kitchen if I bought all those appliances! So perhaps my doughnuts aren't perfectly shaped and occasionally I have a yogurt fail because I haven't bought an incubator.

Puts a little variety and excitement into my life, that's all!

Oi, okay, now THAT is sad.

How do you feel about shopping? Are you a have-to-have-it-now kind of person, or like me have you dropped out? Have you quit because keeping up is an impossible task or because you enjoy the challenge of making do?