10.4.10

Seven Reasons You Might Think I'm Weird


I've been tagged! Yippee. Whoppee! Ye-haw!

I've been sort of feeling sorry for myself because nobody's been tagging me with any of the memes that have been circulating. And then I got three all at once.

So in true procrastinator fashion I'm doing the last first.

Garry (or is it Stephen?) or Him Up North (how many names does this guy have?) has tagged me with the Kreativ Blogger Award.

Not quite sure why we're mis-spelling creative? Can anyone elaborate for me?

Anyhoo. I'm supposed to write seven things you probably don't know about me.

Not sure why that's creative, unless I lie?

Well here goes. Seven things you probably don't know and probably don't want to know and will make you think I'm kinda strange.

1. I used to be a Stripper
Okay boys stop salivating. Not a hoochie-mama stripper, more like a neighbourhood exhibitionist stripper. When I was two and three years old my mother would put me out on the front lawn in my playpen. I'd then proced to strip off all my clothes and my diaper and toss it out of the playpen. I couple times I even managed to get out myself, hide my clothes and run around the front yard naked until one of the neighbours snitched on me informed my mother. Tell the truth I never really outgrew. Childhood photos always show me with my dress skirts up over my head. When I was nine, my father had to inform me it was time I started wearing a shirt. And my husband's uncle once caught me streaking through the house after a shower (dirty bugger didn't even turn his head).

2. I used to be a Hooker
Got you again, didn't I? You're some dirty-minded is all I can say. Hooker was the rugby position I played in high school. Loved rugby. Girl's rugby is a bit different from boys. I can remember being in the midst of a scrum and complimenting the opposing team's hooker on her nail polish. Course I also remember being bloody competitive and rough. Girls are brutal on the sports fields.

3. I was part of a Sting Operation
Yeah, no, nothing so glamourous. I was stung by a Portuguese Man-of-War while snorkelling off the Florida Keys. Actually, silly conk that I am I swam right into it and it wrapped it's tentacles all about me. I pretty nearly drowned as the pain paralysed me to the point I couldn't swim. Two strokes closer to the boat is all I managed and that was just far enough for the captain to hook me out (literally, with a hook). I've been through a total of about 60 hours labour, one c-section, several emergency-room worthy migraines, fibromyalgia, kidney stones, second degree burns, a fractured skull, and several broken bones and the Portuguese Man-of-War is still my 10 on my pain scale.

4. I've two Left Feet
I'm pretty sure I do, literally, you know. Did you notice the broken bones and fractured skull up above? Yes well I've actually fractured the same thumb three times. Fractured three fingers on my right hand and also fractured that thumb in a seperate incident. Three fractured vertebrae in my neck from two separate incidents. I've dislocated my shoulder twice, my hip once, and my big toe. I've torn every muscle on the right side of my body. I have a bump on my leg that's been there since I was 12. I tend to be a little accident-prone . . .
5. I see Dead People
Yeah, so rather go into it all again, just read my comments on NotesfromLapland's Do You Believe in Ghosts. I've also seen fairies, for real, up close. I'll write that story one day. And I tend to have a weird effect on electrical appliances (plus they have a weird effect on me).

6. My Organs are in Weird Places
I first discovered this fascinating fact when hospitalised for some stomach troubles I was having. They were doing one of those barium swallow scans when the technician piped up "When did you have your appendix removed?" "Huh," I answered, "I haven't!" "Oh," he replies with a scrunching of his forehead, another whiz around with the scanner and then a puzzled look. Next thing I know I hear the door closing, didn't even know he had gone out. Shortly after he arrives back with three or four important looking fellows in white coats. They've got another on speakerphone. There's talk of journals and permission forms and photgraphs. Then one of them spots it. Apparently mine is shy, hides behind my colon. My kidneys are funny looking too aparently; my uterus is tilted; and there's something odd with my ribs. Apparently a shy appendix isn't as publication worthy as one missing entirely, so I never did end up in a medical journal.

7. I Know Things I Shouldn't
I don't know, maybe this belongs with "I see Dead People." But anyway - I know things. Call it intuition; call it instinct; call it creepy weird. I'm horrible at remembering names, but on first meeting someone I can sometimes sense things about them - their favourite food, the recent death of their grandmother, whatever. I tend to know if someone's going to die and if it's within the week can tell you how many days. I tend to know if someone's sick too and what they should tell their doctor to look for. I also know about big things. Like Lockerbie (but surprisingly enough not 9/11).

So anyway, there you go. Happy now? Now you know things you shouldn't too.

I've got to tag seven of you now, so:

Entropy Girl
Mad Mom at The Mad House
The Princess at Livi's Little Bubble
Emma at Me,The Man And The Baby
Louise at Wee Wifie's World
Kathryn at Crystal Jigsaw
Audrey at My Mummy Wrote This For Me