18.8.10

The Ejection Seat

This evening we had to go somewhere. with the kids. in the rain. late at night. And that "somewhere" involved about an hour of driving each way.

Fun. Oh yeah! Silly me, I thought seeing as how it was only an hour before bedtime they'd fall asleep. Silly, silly me. No, no, sleeping would've cut into their whining, complaining, arguing, and crying time. Sleep might be precious, but throwing a tantrum when Mommy can't reach you or put you in your room is way funner!

My husband mentioned a little addition we could get to the car to make those moments easier.

No, not a dvd player - we have one of those; we left them alone in the car for five minutes and they took it apart.

No, not sattelite radio. Then they'd just fight over what station to listen to. The one fuzzy station we receive on most trips is fine for us.

He suggested the best thing ever (short of a nanny).

An EJECTION SEAT.

Courtesy of http://www.renishaw.com
I can just picture it now:

Kid: When are we going to be there? When are we going to be there? When are we going to be there?
Mom: You're going to be in the air in a minute.
Kid: But Mom! When are we going to be there?
BAM - hit the eject button
Mom: You might get there faster this way!

Kid: I need to pee.
Mom: There's a bathroom in about five minutes.
Kid: I need to pee now!
Mom: We're not pulling over on the highway in the rain so you can pee in a ditch. No. Not doing it.
Kid: I need to pee. I need to pee. I need to pee.
BAM - hit the eject button
Mom: There, go pee on the birds instead of the trees!

Kid1: Kid2 is touching me!
Kid2: Kid1 is copycatting me!
Kid1: I'm hungry!
Kid2: I'm thirsty!
Kid1: No you're not. I am.
Kid2: No you're not. I am
Kid1: Stop it!
Kid2: Stop it!
Kid1: Moooooommmmmmmmmm!
Kid2: Moooooooommmmmmmmmmmm!
BAM- dual eject button engagement
Kid1 and Kid2: Moo . .. ooo .... ooo.....mmmmmmmm

I'm pretty sure an ejection seat wouldn't be that hard to install. A remote control, a big spring ... Of course we'll have to cut holes in the roof of the van. But that'll be just fine because they're always complaining they "need more air."

I'll give you "air" kid!

What sanity-saving device could your car or home use?

4 comments:

  1. I love this idea! May have to install a couple in my own car. that or one of those screens that you can put up meaning you can't see or hear them through the tinted glass. Ahh, bliss.

    Given the screaming flailing tantrums we had hear yesterday i think a padded sound proofed room you can lock them in would be wonderful. for me or them, I'm easy.

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  2. Lol, I can just see it now! Driving along the motorway, children being fired from cars left, right and centre!

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  3. This post made my day. I am passing it on to my parents; I know they can relate!

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