A Week in The Life of a Two Year Old
Emerson ate blueberry oatmeal. Strangely, he emerged from the breakfast battle with a flaky bluish face.
“Emerson,” Mommy said “you need to wash your face.” She ushered him towards the bathroom.
Suddenly the washcloth loomed, magically wet and cold, in her hand.
“Me do” Emerson shouted.
After a pre-emptive scrub she handed him the cloth. He pushed her out of the bathroom and shut the door.
She heard splashing….
“What the!” Mommy exclaimed as she ripped open the door:
“Emerson, we do NOT wash our face with toilet water.”
Emerson followed Mommy into the bathroom. He attempted a little sit-in with her. Finding the events boring he stood, goodies waggling in the breeze. He walked over to mommy, saying “oh oh, no pee.” Then he peed on her foot.
Emerson grunted and groaned. Mommy said “Are you doing your poo Emers?”
“Un-hunh,” he replied shaking his head. Then pointing to the bathroom “Potty?”
“Do you want to poo on the potty?” Mommy said, the maybe-he’s-about-to-get-it excitement just thinly veiled.
Emerson helped Mommy bake cupcakes. First he scooped flour into a pile on the floor, then he rolled an egg off the table and cracked it in the vicinity of the flour. Next he decorated his hair with cocoa. Mommy made 48 cupcakes. Emerson made a mess.
Emerson found an
Well, except for when he decided to leave it on the stairs so he could go help Mommy pull out the laundry baskets from upstairs. Mean mommy stepped on his new toy and flew down the stairs, spilling the laundry he had helped her pick up all over the floor. He checked on his toy and gave it a kiss. It was okay. Mommy was so upset about hurting it that she cried. She’s been holding her arm kind of funny ever since.
Emerson slept for three hours. Emerson never sleeps for three hours. Mommy wanted to get groceries. She had to wait.
Sunday is supposed to be a day of rest
But not for Emerson. On Sunday he played in the sandbox with some big kids. He ate lots of sand. He had a sand bath. Then he ran through the open door. He was thoughtful enough to take his shoes off, though. He flung them across the room. The sand achieved great spreadage. Then he broke his sunglasses. Summer is over after all. He followed that with a fine rendition of pull-off-my-diaper-and-pee-on-the-kitchen-chair. His encore involved swiping Mommy’s cold coffee and sharing it with the couch.
A very productive week for Emerson.
I’m not sure why I haven’t managed to get much done around the house myself.