11.4.12

Dear Randy Snow: Don't Be a Boob

Dear Randy Snow,

I could write you as a parenting columnist. Or as a parenting advocate. I could write as a breastfeeding advocate or in some kind of official role.

But I'm writing as a parent. As the mother of a three and a half year old boy, like Mayim Bialik's Fred. Like Fred, my boy also continues to nurse. In all the things I do day-to-day parenting-wise, it's the one thing I KNOW I'm not doing wrong. The one thing. Honestly.

But, apparently, you think it's wrong. I'm not sure why. I have no idea why you even had to comment on it. And why that comment had to be so judgmental and offensive is beyond me. The truth is, Randy, I didn't hear your comment. Because, frankly, I'm not a listener. But I heard of your comment and the tone in your voice as you ridiculed Mayim for continuing to breastfeed.
"In the book, she talks about how she breastfeeds her three-and-a-half-year-old son, Fred. Three and a half! What?! I just got over Alicia Silverstone's bird-feeding thing with her son, and now this?!"
UPDATE: You can access the audio here. It wasn't just Randy and it's worse than I originally reported. Scroll down to the media player: 99.1HitsFM
UPDATE2: They've taken it down. I meant to record it before they did. But, you know, life gets in the way.

But do you know, Randy, that when you said that, you didn't just ridicule Mayim. You didn't even "just" ridicule every mother out there who breastfeeds into the toddler and preschool years. You ridiculed children. Little three-and-a-half-year old children. Your ridiculed MY SON, Randy. And that's not acceptable. Not in the least.

It might seem wrong to you, that my son, who indeed is no longer a baby, continues to breastfeed. But it has nothing to do with you. Nothing at all. And unlike the standard stunned member of the public at the mall, you're a voice that people listen to. So when you comment on something that has nothing to do with you two things happen:
  1. You strengthen the voice of those who also feel appropriate commenting on things that have nothing to do with them - their judgmental opinion is now "celebrity-endorsed."
  2. You  feed into a systemic cultural practice of judging - especially parents - on things that are a matter of personal choice.

And the third thing you do? Watch this video clip of my little boy. Pay careful attention to the 55 second mark.







You make my son question something he loves.

Read that again, Randy. And let it sink in... you made a little boy feel sad.

My son loves breastfeeding. It's not the only thing he loves, but, yes, it's in his top-ten for sure. He loves the bonding time with me. He loves the "deelicious" milk. He loves how it soothes and relaxes him.

And I love it too. The part I especially love is knowing that I am doing everything humanly possible to grant him a long and healthy life. My milk didn't suddenly lose its health benefits and antibodies or even its nutritive value when he turned one or two years old. It's all still there. And given that he has a disorder that means that tumours can grow in his body anytime anywhere and breastmilk is the one known safe anti-tumorgenic substance I can give him, guess what? I'm not going to stop. No matter what you think or say.

But my son is sad. He's sad because people like you see fit to comment on something that he loves. They tell him he's too old for it. Or that big boys don't need it. Or even that it's foolish. People say these things to my son and it confuses him and saddens him.

And now you, a public figure, have said it. And I can't let that go. You hurt my son. You hurt the other three and four and five year olds that may have listened to your show and heard your painful words. You hurt the mothers who are trying only to do what's best for their child.

I'm not going to pay a lot of attention to what you said, Randy, because frankly I never do. We don't listen to HitsFM. We're pretty much CBC people, occasionally K-Rock, and when we want to dance in the kitchen while making supper, we tune into OZFM.

But a lot of people will pay attention. It saddens me that in a province with lowest breastfeeding rates in the nation, where our government and health authorities are working tirelessly to promote breastfeeding, someone like you can undermine all that work with a single, thoughtless, throw-away statement.

To them, all I can say is "who is Randy Snow." And what right does he have to dictate what you do? My kids understand it, I hope your audience does too...



56 comments:

  1. Superbly written. Beautifully written. Incredibly powerful. Not so much an argument as a proclamation of your inalienable rights.

    Who is Randy Snow? An oxymoron.

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  2. It's true. People have no business making judgements and assumptions in areas that does not concern them. Breastfeeding is the most natural thing between a mother and baby, along with it being by far the healthiest option. My youngest brother was developing asthma when he was an infant and our doctor told my Mom to bf as long as he would. She bf him until he was almost three and he does NOT have asthma. Imagine if she cared what people thought and stopped at one? My brother's life would be a lot different and more restricted. Even public health tells us now to bf until two. Mothers know their babies and will make the right decisions concerning them. It would just be nice not to have others frowning at them in the process

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  3. Beautifully written, Dara. Bravo.

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  4. My son is turning 4 next month and I still breastfeed him. I also breastfed his brother until he was 4. I didn't have an age in mind to stop, I just stopped when it felt right. I really don't get all this fuss over kids being breast fed past babyhood. Good for you for responding and giving a voice to this issue.

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  5. Amen, Dara! And your kids are beautiful, by the way. :)

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  6. I only breast fed my son for six months and that was because I went back to school. You do what is comfortable for you and your family, that's what I say.

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  7. I can certainly see the points made on both sides of this argument but what I don't understand is the personal bashing of Randy Snow. Opinions are something we all hold dearly and that is why there is so much backlash on this subject, however if you truly believe in your opinion, why should it matter what anyone in the world has to say about it? I breast fed my child for 9 months and then, he literally pushed me away. Am I a bad mother? We know what's right for our own children (or at least we can hope) but every individual child is different and what works for one doesn't necessarily work for the other. Also, Randy could have said something extremely distasteful and degrading to be getting this kind of feedback, but let's face it, he didn't. if you went to a comedy club and someone's act was based on something that personally offended you, you probably wouldn't go see them again. But are they entitled to speak on whatever it is that they have an opinion on. Certainly. Let's all remember that no child likes to be personally insulted, which is some of what is going on here with the twisting of Randy's words and allegations of his own upbringing, and we're all someone's child aren't we? Play nice kids, we don't resolve issues by throwing around insults on the playground. How about using the old "Lead by example" tool to teach our children?

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  8. I love how you write about something that you didn't even hear. If everyone did this....what a world we would live in. Thank you for making this into a bigger deal than it needs to be.

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  9. What's being said against Randy Snow that is personal? Remarks seem fairly well confined to what he said. Snow doesn't have to shut up; he spoke his mind freely, and he can go on doing it. But having the right to speak openly entails being held accountable for your comments; and that's what's happening here. If a popular radio deejay wants to stir the waters by commenting on breastfeeding or any other medical or parenting issue, that's his right; but nobody should be surprised that he's being taken to task. It was inevitable, and it is right.

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  10. Telling him not to be a boob is kinda personal. But she did it because it would catch readers attention. Oh wait....doesn't that remind you of aomeone being discussed.

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  11. In response to your tweets: I MADE my two daughters take the bottle and they are both intelligent and healthy children. But I have less than 1000 followers so my words don't matter. Even though my words are kinder than the ones you have been spouting. It's great to stand up for your beliefs, but did you ever tell your children to JUST WALK AWAY from a fight...so you don't become as bad as the person you are fighting with.

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  12. Considering the wearisome attacks to which breastfeeding advocates are continually forced to respond, I don't blame them one bit for getting impatient with boorish, uninformed opinion of all the Randy Snows - who feel only too qualified to pull a 'Mike Milbury' over something they know nothing about. Merely calling him a Boob (for his comments) shows restraint. Breastfeeding advocates work hard to inform the public of a proven benefit to infants. Breastfeeding rates in Newfoundland are the lowest in Canada, and not because it's not needed. Do breastfeeding advocates get frustrated? Sometimes. When a media person who doesn't know jack about breastfeeding uses his medium to air invective about the practice, this might provoke a certain level of anger--the same way you'd get angry at someone who mindlessly criticizes in the public forum something you are passionate about and work hard at. I don't think you'd be willing to take such derision lying down. But for some reason, according to some, his status as a media personality means we shouldn't be so hard on the guy. Bull. He shot off his mouth, now he's got to accept return fire.

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  13. A 3 and a half year old child is not an infant. There is a reason why the book in question is contrversial. Its because some of the behaviours are weird. I breastfed for 15 months but enough is enough. Also, this nonsense about a culture of backlash against breastfeeding? Really? I received nothing but support for breastfeeding from the moment my son was born. Everything from visits in the hospital from lactation consultants to continued support at the clinic about how to successfully supplement while encouraging my milk supply. This author seems determined to find enemies around every corner and given the Ill informed opinions I've seen here and elsewhere, her classification of Randy Snow as judgemental is laughable.

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  14. @Steve, Thank you.
    @Anonymous1: Thank you. It is true. Breastfeeding never stops having benefits and for children, like my son and your brother, that can use that extra help it really makes a difference.
    @Tara: Thank you.
    @Anonymous 2: I'm glad I could speak to what matters to you. And good going!
    @Amber: Thank you. I'm rather partial to them.
    @Anonymous 3: Exactly.

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  15. @Anonymous 4: As you can see, I did not delete your comment - you were merely looking on the wrong post. I have never and will never delete comments that are within reasonable standards. I'm not sure why you would think I would delete your comment as given the harrasment I have endured today, what you say sounds balanced in comparison.
    I don't think you're a bad mother and I never said any such thing. In fact, I think it's amazing that you made it to 9 months. Unfortunately, in our province, very few breastfeed that long.
    I don't agree with you that his comments were not degrading. To me, they were. I have since heard the audio. They laughed, they made judgments, they used words such as "eww." If that's not judgmental and offensive, then I don't know what is.
    I have not twisted his words, at all, they are repeated verbatim. And I have not said anything about his upbringing, nor have any of my commenters, nor have I seen any such comments. I have not insulted him personally. I attacked what he said. I explained my side and I have spent the entire day fending off personal attacks against me and my children.
    No. You are wrong. Randy Snow was wrong. And so are you. I am not flinging insults. Though I have had MANY flung at me. And I don't see Randy Snow stepping in to call off the dogs. What I do see is friends of his fanning the flames and launching more personal attacks against me.

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  16. @Anonymous 5: At the time of writing this blog I hadn't personally heard it. I attempted to but could not. However, I did hear exactly what was said repeated verbatim (and you can check as the audio file is now posted) from a source I trust and who has shown herself time and again to have integrity.
    If everyone sat idly by and let bigotry be voiced without objecting, what a world it would be.

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  17. @Anonymous 6: Thank you. Exactly. He voiced an opinion. I have responded with my own opinion. And the only name-calling I have seen has been against me, not him.

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  18. @Anonymous 7: You know what, you're right. It wasa tongue-in-cheek, hey that's puny kinda title. I didn't expect anyone to take it seriously as an insult. However, I am certainly willing to offer my personal apologies to Randy Snow if that title offended him. I can see how it might.
    And yes, titles and headlines are written to catch attention. That's how they work. But you are correct, I may have crossed the line in that one. Thank you for pointing that out.

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  19. Anonymous 8: Are you fucking kidding me? I don't give a frig what you did with your daughters - though the way you write that you "made" them take the bottle sounds kinda harsh. However I take great offense from you trying to paint me as an antagonist on Twitter. I came home from an incredibly difficult medical appointment this morning to discover 4 and 5 young men ganging up on me, calling me names, discussing my breasts. I responded because NO I WILL NEVER TEACH MY DAUGHTER TO TOLERATE BULLYING AND SEXUAL HARRASMENT. That's not on. If you want to teach your daughters that - go for it. I personally think you're doing them a disservice, but that's your choice.
    See what I did there. I disagreed with you without saying that you are 100% in the wrong or publically stating that you should not be allowed to do what you're doing. That's how ADULT debate works.

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    1. In reference to MADE, that was your word choice on twitter to a man who was 'trying' to be funny. I never once called you an antagonist, but I think you lowered yourself to the level of those 'boys' with your comments. I do not and will not teach my girls to tolerate bullying of any kind. I will teach them to use their intelligence and not their emotions when reacting because an emotional response is what they strive on. And I do see what you did there...you respond to people comments inserting things that are not mentioned in order to strengthen your argument.
      And finally, ADULT debates do not begin with a curse word.... wild rants do.

      Delete
    2. And before you jump on the 'trying' by saying I am supporting their behaviour or something equally stupid, they failed at being funny in my opinion.

      Delete
    3. No, don't backpedal now. You came on here and made me sound like I've been "spouting" unkind words at a bunch of juvenile shock jock bullies who saw fit to gang up on my, spread lies, and discuss my breasts in a public forum.
      I didn't see you jump to my defence on Twitter, but you jumped to their defence on my blog. Nice.
      Yeah, I cursed. Adults curse sometimes. Especially when they are utterly shocked at what is being said.
      The "made" was a repition of what that shock jock said to me. And you know what, if you had asked, you would've known that I did try responding to them civilly and privately to stop harassing me. They didn't. So I responded in kind to show them I was not intimidated.
      I don't know about you, but I have been sexually harassed and abused and I know that if you don't stand up for yourself and stop the behaviour the best way you can than you will be attacked and diminished.
      I tried one approach. It didn't work. I tried another. It kept me from feeling like a victim. I hope you never feel that way. Because frankly it sucks.
      Those comments were directed at those "boys" only. No one else. And each was a direct reponse.
      And when did I insert things that weren't mentioned?
      Seriously. Tell me.

      Delete
  20. Darrell: Thank you for your level-headed and sensible comments

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  21. @Anonymous: Are you being deliberately obtuse because you know you've lost the argument? A three and a half year-old is not an infant. Is that what you're reduced to arguing now? So what if the breastfed child is five months or five years? And who are you to decide what's weird? Your opinion does not make it so - or true for anyone but you. So ask yourself what you find so horrible and threatening about a mother who breastfeeds her toddler. Is the sky going to fall? No. Are you going to suffer personal harm as a result of it? No. So where's the problem for you - except in your narrowmindedness and intolerance. Free your mind. Breastfeeding is not the sum of all fears.

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  22. Anonymous 9: The book espouses the practices that lots of parents follow - and backs it up with scientific research. But, you know, don't judge a book by it's cover and all that. You've just labelled the practices of thousands of North American parents and many worldwide cultures as "weird" but I'm the judgmental one.
    As for there not being a culture against breastfeeding in Newfoundland, than maybe you can explain to me exactly why our rates are the lowest in the entire country. Why only 11% of women breastfeed exclusively to six months? Why so many young women and new mothers would never, ever consider breastfeeding because they've been shown that it's gross, wrong, or silly?

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  23. To everyone else. This is the end of my responding to anonymous comments. Leave your name or at the very least a psuedonym because I'm tired of having to count down and number each anonymous person.
    I have the guts and integrity to put my name and face to what I say. If you don't, then I can't be bothered with you, frankly.

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  24. Why is it that your arguments of tolerance and accusations of people being judgemental only apply to people who disagree with you but you feel quite justified in behaving the same way? Darrell, you said "breastfeeding advocates work hard to inform the public of a proven benefit to infants." The comment by Mr snow was related to a three and a half year old child. I pointed out that a three and a half year old child is not an infant - providing a direct link between your comments and the issue which the entire conversation is about. You obviously know very little about logic and the formation of an argument. To turn it around is the sky going to fall if you spend a little less time obsessing about offhand comments on the radio and if you and your wife (an asumption?) focus a little less on how other people feed their kids?

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  25. OK, Anonymous, I should have said that breastfeeding benefits children, not just infants. Happy? I'm not the one obsessing over how parents feed their children; people like you are. A woman states publicly that she breastfeeds her toddler, and you're the ones getting up in arms, not me. Is such a woman evil? Is she harming her child or anyone else? Hardly. In spite of Randy Snow's blithe comments or what his supporters have to say on the issue - because they don't reflect much knowledge or understanding of it. As for you, a mother who breastfed, I think you're backing the wrong horse. You had an opportunity today to do defend a practice which, quite frankly, gets more than its fair share of opposition and hostility. It's sad that you had to contribute to it. And you had more than ample opportunity to supply proof or evidence as to why breastfeeding a three and a half year-old is such a bad thing - which you seem to feel strongly. But you didn't do that either.

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  26. Finally, I would like to point this out.
    http://www.kathydettwyler.org/detwean.html
    The natural weaning age for humans is 2.5-7 years based on animal studies. We can't study the "natural" weaning age based purely on humans because humans are affected by cultural bias.
    What the heck does it do to Randy Snow, all you anonymous commenters, or anyone else if I nurse my child until he's 7 even? What personal affect does that have on you?
    Now turn it around: what personal affect do your remarks of dissaproval have on me and my children?

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  27. I'm astounded by the amount of invective this subject provokes. Surely our children are individuals? Each one unique? Therefore how can anyone prescribe - or even proscribe - how we as parents raise them? Breastfeeding is personal choice. It is - though I hate using this word - a contract between the child and the mother. I'm not sure anyone else has the right to insert themselves within this relationship and say what is right and what is wrong. Each instance is as individual as the child and the child's relationship with the parent. There cannot be - nor should there ever be - a mandatory termination of this contract! It is for the parent to judge in relation to the child. Surely this is commonsense?

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  28. You know what I've noticed from reading numerous sites over the past couple of days? Not a single one of the commenters saying breastfeeding an "older" child is inappropriate or wrong cited a resource for their information, or was able to do it when asked. Those advocating extended breastfeeding were all able to give numerous sources for scientific studies backing their claims. This leads me to believe that "breastfeeding a 3 or 4 year old" is a purely emotional opinion. Emotional opinions are not valid arguments. Just saying.

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    1. Ok. I'm citing every book about child development that tells you that children eat with their fingers and evolve to a fork and spoon. They sip on a bottle or nipple and evolve to a cup. I don't have an issue with giving a child breast milk past a certain age, but I think putting it in a cup of some sort is more age appropriate. I would also think it inappropriate to give an older child a baby bottle with anything in it.

      Delete
    2. Which books would those be? I have several book on child development here in my home, as I have several here in my home (I have a degree in behavioural neuroscience, with a concentration in child development), and I've never read that babies "evolve" from breastfeeding to cup feeding. They actually can manage to do both, you know. Not at the same time, of course. That would be rather messy. My 4 year old is quite able to drink from a cup or glass, and eat with utensils. He also nurses a few times a week. What does one have to do with the other? And why should I put my milk in a cup. Pumping just 3-4 ounces takes me a half an hour. That a half an hour I could be spending with my children. Why would I want to do that? Because you say I should? And who are you? What are your credentials? How long have you studied breastfeeding? Oh, wait....you do have every child development book, don't you? Can you list them for me? Specifically, the ones that mention that weaning must take place when a child can drink from a cup.

      Thanks.

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    3. Hahahaha....children don't evolve from the breast to a cup? So you are still drinking from your mother's breast? Good point about the time. That does make more sense. My credentials for having an opinion: I'm a human being. Most of us have one. You have one of me right now and you don't know a thing about me. Which is fine with me....everyone has a right to their opinion.

      Live. Love. Enjoy!

      Delete
    4. The word "evolve" was in quotation marks for a reason. As a child learns a new skill, it does not automatically replace old skills - it is a gradual process.
      Besides, you're mixing up developmental milestones with personal and emotional developmental. Children don't wean from the breast to a cup when they wean from breastmilk. The milk is replaced with other nutrition; the breast is replaced with other comfort objects or activities. The cup/bottle has little to do with it and is a delivery system only.
      You are the one that stated you're citing "every book about child development."

      Delete
  29. Victoria, I agree with what you say about breastfeeding opponents' views being based on emotion. They offer assumptions and personal feelings only, which they try to pass off as documented fact--which they cant' do when pressed. One Opinion demonstrates another tendency--that of latching on (so to speak) to a particular word to show that they are right. In OP's case that word is 'evolution' and the idea that drinking from a cup or a can or a beer bottle can't be anything other than a move "up" on the evolutionary scale. In other words, it's another assumption on the part of the breastfeeding opponent. I wonder what Charles Darwin would make of this concept. I had a similar exchange here with an Anonymous earlier this week. Because I said what a benefit breastfeeding is to 'infants' in my initial post, as opposed to 'children' like I meant to say, well, it was all "But you said breastfeeding is for infants!"

    When breastfeeding opponents 'turtle' like that, you might as well walk away. They wrap themselves in such a protective shell of obtuseness ain't nothin' -- or no one -- gettin' through.

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  30. Randy Snow made a comment that a great deal of people would agree with. But regardless your article on the reasons you breastfeed are moot when you start to bash Randy Snow for a comment instead of providing some education on what the WHO says. And for the WHO to say 2 years and beyond, I don't think they meant over the age of 3 or it would have been 3 years and beyond. You take a comment from the WHO and take it as fact, so 5 years is beyond 2 years 8 years is beyond 2 years. Bottom line I personally think 3.5 years old is too old. I think 2 years would be the max, if you still want to breast feed use a pump.

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    1. At what point did I "bash" Randy Snow? If it's the issue over the title, I'll change it. When Randy asks me to. He made statements that breastfeeding beyond a the time when a child got teeth (which by the way is about 4 months) is gross and unacceptable. I responded to that.
      The WHO does indeed support breastfeeding into the upper years. Two years is the MINIMUM they want to see. In fact, in WHO reports you will see them say that a child does not develop their natural immunity until age 6. Every breastfeeding expert in the world supports what I am doing. Every single one.
      What you "think" they meant matters little to me. Who are you? Who is Randy Snow? Neither of you is informed about breastfeeding but you're both willing to make judgmental comments on how women who do it should do it.
      If you still want to be judgmental, stay inside and do it with your own family. When you do that, I'll stay inside and use a pump for public breastfeeding. Oh yeah, except I can't because they don't work for me, my child doesn't want breastmilk from a cup, and they cost too much money.
      But feel free to keep your uninformed opinions rolling.

      Delete
    2. Bashing? Not at all. Randy Snow's comments could have been even more venomously anti-social and he would still have supporters. However, this does not mean he was right, and a lot of other people take issue with what he said. Truthfully, his comments didn't sound much to me like a request for information. But he's certainly getting it now. Maybe you are, too, with any luck. Making comments in public is all well and good, and it's great to have that freedom. But you have to be willing to accept accountability and deal with the repurcussions of what you say. With every freedom comes a similar responsibility.

      Delete
    3. The WHO says 2 years and then for as long as mother and child wish. The 2 years is a minimum.

      Answer me this, Michael- why is 3.5 years too old, in your opinion?

      Delete
  31. Dara, you & anyone else who continues to breastfeed beyond the age of BIRTH does not affect me one blessed bit. Good for you; good for your babies, toddlers, & kids.

    The benefits of extended nursing are not in question by any medical organization that I know of. It's interesting to see how many people think they know more than science.

    The bias against extended nursing is completely cultural. It is not rational at all.

    I had to wean my son at 6 weeks due to his metabolic disorder. I have no idea if I would still be nursing him at this point (he's now 2). However, I don't give a flying flip if other mothers continue to nurse. People need to worry about their own lives and keep their misguided & misinformed OPINIONS to themselves. If they choose not to, they shouldn't be surprised when people take them to task for it.

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    1. Thank you Dana,
      And you're exactly right.

      It is interesting to see how many people think they know more than science. If these people were arguing against gravity they'd be laughed out of the atmosphere. They're equally misguided.

      Sweeping generalisations and opinions on what others do should be kept to ourselves. Especially when we're in positions of public notierity.

      Delete
  32. I have no problem with someone breastfeeding but i do believe children should be taught proper names - boobies? Come on! Let's teach respect for body parts from day one.

    Also, I strongly recommend that children NOT listen to talk shows. The topics are not designed for children so comments about those under 5 being sad by the words Randy said - children should not have heard his words. If a parent chooses to inform them, my question is why do that if it makes your child sad. There's nothing to be gained from sharing that with your child. If you are listening to the shows with children in the room, you need to use your judgment as you would a tv show - my child wouldn't be allowed to watch some of the programs that i enjoy.

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    1. See my comments policy.
      It's unfortunate, because I have many responses for you.

      Delete
  33. I'd have breastfed my kids longer if they wanted to. But both self-weaned at 2 y.o. Well done to you to keep it up. And people, don't bash what you don't know. And if you don't have breasts you don't know. And if you do have breasts and still don't know then don't bash what you don't understand. Just accept and let live and don't tell us we're "weird" to breastfeed beyond "a certain age".

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  34. My name is ELIZABETH.
    I would really like to know WHY so many people think that breastfeeding a child age 2, 3, 4 or whatever age is wrong? So many anonymous people seem to voice their opinion that it is wrong or gross? WHY? Breastfeeding is not a sexual thing. The purpose of breasts on a woman's body is to feed her children NOT for men to play with. (I'm not saying men shouldn't play with them I'm saying thats not their purpose) If breasts were meant for men they would shoot out beer not milk. When a 4 year old nurses from his mother it is not sexual and the child does not percieve it as sexual.

    And just so you know the eskimos would breastfeed their adult sons before they would go seal hunting.

    Readily a Parent: please don't let the bastards get you down. They are not worth it. I loved your letter to the Snow guy whoever he is.

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    1. Thank you Elizabeth,
      Many cultures see no problem with breastfeeding or giving breastmilk to adults. We're absolutely fine with giving the breastmilk of cows to people of all ages...
      I love your take on why breasts aren't for men :)

      Delete
  35. Dara, I am really proud of your stand on breastfeeding, and for going public about it. I breastfed my first son for 1 year, and my second son for just over 3 years. I wouldn't change that for a second. I lived in Montreal when my children were babies, and as I was breastfeeding my son (discretely) in a small shopping center near my home, a lady walked up to me and asked "Don't you have a home?". When my son finished, I quickly located her in the mall and said "If you have a problem with breastfeeding, then you should stay home so you don't have to see it". He was a baby who would not drink from a bottle so this was the only way I could feed him.

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    1. And you know what, Kim, we shouldn't have to justify WHY we are breastfeeding. The only thing I regret is bringing up my son's illness, because yes that compels me to continue in the face of criticism, but it is not why I do it to begin with.
      It only shows the extent of the discrimination and harassment that we feel compelled to give reasons for our "deviance."

      Delete
  36. I don't have any strong opinions about breast-feeding, I didn't for many reasons, but it is something that is totally natural and I cannot understand why mothers and their babies cannot just be left to get on with it. But I DO have a problems when people with strong public profiles say things that can have a negative effect on the lives of ordinary people, as it seems this guy did, because it 'normalises' those kinds of attitudes and promotes intolerance. Obviously I see this mainly from a special needs point of view, a constant battle to encourage acceptance and awareness and then you get otherwise lovely people like Jennifer Aniston using the work 'retard' ... http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/film/film-news/7955597/Jennifer-Aniston-under-fire-for-using-the-word-retard.html

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    1. I've never been that impressed by Jennifer Anniston. Broad pool and you can see the bottom, if you get what I mean.
      Her comments also disgust me, as I think you know. I can only imagine considering how much they raise my ire when I have no personal connection to the issue, how much they must incense you.
      I just think back to how angry the Family Guy/Emmy's award made me http://www.readilyaparent.com/2010/08/just-because-you-ride-long-bus-doesnt.html
      and now I'm even angrier because I'm beginining to see that these things are interconnected - we are letting our media get away with being offensive and actually laughing at them when they do. Except for those of us who are wringing our hands in despair. But when the majority rules, in rules of Entertainment as all else, we're left feeling helpless as we watch attitudes normalised

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  37. I've watched your videos of your children. Randy Snow made your son sad?? I don't think so. From what I see ,your son makes an attempt to get up off the chair against the wall you've positioned him on, only to be told by you to sit back down because you aren't finished indoctrinating him with your rant.And judging from his responses, this speech is not for him but for you, to get your opinion out there.He clearly doesn't know who Randy Snow is,or care who the World Health Organization is.You're the one who's sad, and I think it's wrong to involve your children in such a manner.I thought your family didn't listen to Hits FM, you're making him aware of this topic. I also noticed your son mentioned his friend doesn't breastfeed.... could he be sensing something here ...like why am I .. it's kind of weird????Also I do feel you're bashing Randy Snow... maybe not directly with the words but by taking him to "task" on this....he's a single guy, why would he have to be educated on breastfeeding? I think it was light banter ... move on ...take your cause up with someone who cares. And sorry, but you do come off as bitter. Have you ever heard the saying "You get more with honey than vinegar?" One last thing, it did get personal towards Randy.... you might not have said it..but you incited it. There were some posts referring to Randy's upbringing that I read, also someone commented on his breastfeeding as an infant.... sounds kinda personal to me. Advice:Drop this now...find a better way to get your word out there, a more positive way... you're just making yourself look bad to me.

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    1. So let me get this straight:
      My comments about Randy Snow's comments (written completely in reaction to something HE initiated) invited personal attack on him, however his very public and deragratory comments against the behaviour of many mothers does not invite personal attack (like yours here) on us?
      I'm supposed to drop this, and be sweet, when I am under continued attack?
      And, oh yeah, take up my cause with someone who cares.... because guess what, there's an X up there in the corner, if you truly didn't care you could just click on it.
      My son does not think it's weird to breastfeed. He loves it. He thinkgs its weird that other children don't. He is confused by public statements made to him personally about his continued breastfeeding - statements that comments like Randy's encourage.
      I'm not making him aware of this topic - he knows about it because he lives it.
      Randy Snow is a single guy, yes, in a position of public responsibility. If he doesn't know anything about breastfeeding he shouldn't say anything about it. Especially not anything deragratory.
      And if you think responding to someone's public comments is "bashing" them, then why did you come on here to "bash" me. Practice what you preach.
      Your response to me, now, was incredibly more personal and hurtful than anything I said in response to Randy's comments.
      The only attacks I've seen have been against me and they have been pretty damn horrid. And they are continuing, encouraged by some weird little vendetta you all have.

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  38. Finally, I would like to say that I would NEVER incite personal attacks and if someone could provide me with links or information as to who is making these attacks I will personally contact them to ask them to cease. You have no idea how much time I've spent this week trying to find these attacks so that I could respond to them. You really have no idea.
    Which, by the way, is much more than anyone has offered to me.

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  39. Hello I just found your blog when I googled "NY magazine places mayim ballick under dispicable for breast feeding" and you popped up! I am writing from NYC and needless to say I am ending my subscription to the magazine.
    While I just began my journey of exclusive breastfeeding I hope it last well beyond the first year. I intend to respect my child and repond to his needs. Why is it deemed acceptable now for children to defecate in their diapers till 4, 5 or 6, under the rubric of baby led potty training but it is seen as despicable for a mother to nurse a 3 year old. What is wrong with our society? It makes me truly sad.

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