21.5.12

Bird is the Word

I have no clue what that means. Honestly. Why do people say "bird is the word." Is it another one of those inane pop culture references I don't get? Do "people" even say it, or is a Newfoundland thing?

I remember hearing a song ages ago tha referenced that line, but it was an old song. So why is it all new again? I know I could google this and find the answer in moments, but I refuse to. Cause I can't frigging keep up with these language culture intrustions that I just don't get.

Would you like a "for instance?" No, I know you wouldn't. But I got nothing better to write about tonight.

Actually, I do, but I haven't got the time to invest in a good post. So you're stuck with me moaning about language and pop culture and the death of meaning again.

Sorry bout that.

No. Not really.

Some examples of words and phrases (I did the icons thing last time, you didn't really think I was done moaning about how meaningless modern life truly is, did you?) that annoy me, confuse me, or make me gassy with intolerance are:

Chuffed
Where the hell did this word come from all of a sudden? Why is every second FB update now "I'm well chuffed that..." What is my problem with this?

Okay, well, first of all, I hate anything that's overused. It's kinda like I hate sandwiches because I ate one every day, Monday to Friday, from age six to age twelve. There's something about overexposure that just turns my stomach.

Second of all, I don't always know what it means. And I hate not knowing stuff. But it's not me being a moron. It actually is one of those words with dual, opposing meanings. So you're either pleased, proud, ecstatically happy when you use it or displeased, slightly disgruntled, maybe even crazily apoplectic when you use it.

If you say, for instance, "I was chuffed that the baby was born looking so much like my wife," do I take that to mean that you think your wife is beautiful and are adamantly proud that the baby looks like her? Or does it mean that you suspect your wife was getting it on with another bloke and were hoping the baby's nose would be a tell?

See the problem here?

Finally. Chuffed. It's a sound train engines make. I think of Thomas the Tank Engine whenever I read or hear it. And I've managed to avoid the obsession with Thomas with both my boys. Think of the poor mothers who haven't. Take pity on them. You monsters!

So now I've pissed off most of you by letting you know that when you open your mouths all I hear is train engines switching tracks, how about some more examples? Yeah, I knew you'd be interested.

Okay, how about
(fill in the blank) Nazi
La Leche League does not burn babies in the hot fires of their oppresive view that formula fed children are lesser thans. Grammarians do not stick you in the gas chamber for using it's when you should've used its. And that dude on Seinfeld that wouldn't sell the soup - totally not like starving people for months on end while forcing them to engage in slave labour and playing petty little experiments on what they would do to prevent starvation.

Henceforth, unless you are referring to this man

or his followers, don't use the word Nazi. Be inventive. Come up with a word that actually means something other than a political idealogy opposed to the parasitical behaviours of Jews.

Oh, did that description make you cringe and squirm a little? Well that's what the word means. That and idealogically driven, crazed killer of anyone that did not meet the criteria of selection for the master race (okay, well maybe people who confuse its and it's do belong in that part..... kidding)

I'm allowed to joke about its vs. it's because I'm one of those fast-typing retards that makes that mistake sometimes without even thinking about it.

Either word in that sentence give you pause? One of those words people use without even thinking about it? Want to talk about cringe-worthy phrasing? If I hear you use the word retard in an offhanded or insulting way than I assume you're the village fool.

It's true. I've used the word on very rare occasions myself, with people I love and trust, to indicate its actual, literal meaning - that of the condition of being arrested in development.

But call me politcally correct Chrissy, I would never use it publically or in a joking way. Anyone that's read my stuff knows I take offense with words used to describe certain peoples used as insults. Or the way we just plain insult people by making fun of their differences. And I hate the way pop culture has gloamed onto this particular one again.

Gah. Heh. OMG. You asshats using these words make me want to *facepalm.


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